Dawn Brocco's Life & Design Blog

I'm *still* trying to get to those 2 new patterns, but these daily trips and endless pill-taking, cream rubbing in, and fussing over how much protein and liquids I'm ingesting is sapping a nice chunk of my daily life. If I have a shop order to print, then the regular household responsibilities and garden to take care of, and squeezing in rests, there goes the entire day! Lucky to get a couple/few rnds knit. Lucky to get just a few hours of business taken care of.

The dog isn't helping either. He's been SO unsettled. He's like this whenever I am out often, and as I'm gone very day to radiation, he just never settles down and sleeps, like he used to. He's forever right under my feet!

So, as the herbal sleep relief wasn't working for me, I read up some more and see the stress relief (which I also have) works on pets to calm them, through storms, when traveling, etc, and is used in some shelters. So, am trying it on Pickles to calm him down a bit.

He's got BIG abandonment issues. Can't stand it if I even go into the garden for a bit. Unfortunately, it's from spending his entire life with me in the house. If I worked outside the house, maybe he'd be different, but he knows I'm always here.

So, we'll see if it helps.

The rad nurse. As much as I like my rad doc, that's how much I don't like the nurse.

How can someone be negative, wearing a big smile at the same time?!

You're going to get a reaction, no matter what you do, she says, smiling wryly! (Nice supportive attitude!)

And we only recommend using the Aquaphor and aloe vera gel. Does the doctor know about these other things? Referring to the comfrey salve and seabuckthorn seed oil. (Yes, she does.)

Telling me what's gonna be makes me all the more insistent that it won't be that way. Headstrong, maybe. Better than being weak-minded and limiting your outcome, based on what others tell you.

People are eager to call someone headstrong, as if it was a negative thing to know your own mind and not be willing to waver, just to please someone else, or play by *their* rules.

Why does the world insist on putting a wet blanket on your fire? Whenever I've succumbed to other's wishes, when it went against what is best for me, or what I know to be true or right, I've always been sorry. Why have regret? Better to stand alone, even if misunderstood, than have regret. You need balls of steel (pardon my French) to live your own life.

So, you know what I think of the Aquaphor, and the aloe vera gel is skin-tightening. I've used it in the past. Last thing you want on skin that's burned to a crisp (not that mine is, it's just barely pink) is something to make it feel tight. So you can be in tears from the pain. Yup, sign me up for your limited approach.

Actually, I read that placing an open piece of the actual plant on the burn works better than the gel alone, but it's impossible to cover my entire chest, neck and half my back with pieces of plant material!

I searched some more this morning and found a burn ointment that's excellent for radiation burns and doesn't interfere with radiation. Turns out all it is Tea Tree Oil. I have a little TTO on hand, but may order a cream with TTO and Calendula (I remembered Anne's suggestion of the Calendula First Aid cream! Thanks, Anne!).

I may end up burned anyway, but it won't be from me not taking responsibility for my own body and its healing. You can't leave your health entirely up to anyone else, even if they are professionals. One has to do one's part to help oneself. And they don't know everything, even if they think they do.

There's this newsletter that's handed out at the rad onc center, called "Celebrate Life!", complete with articles on how to prepare for the end of life! and "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Funerals But Were Afraid to Ask"!! Which had me burst out in laughter at how uplifting the newsletter is!

But there was a quote:

"If you asked me what I came into this life to do,
I will tell you:
I came to live out loud."
~ Emile Zola

Love it!