Dawn Brocco's Life & Design Blog

Thank goodness for Lunesta. I think that's the only way I'm going to get through the next month.

I WAS sleeping well, now that the AC is in our bedroom window, but after wearing that mask for the dry run, I tossed and turned all last night. Every time I awoke, all I could think of was that horrid mask and the welts it left on my face for 6 hours yesterday!

Yeah, not a few minutes or the 2 hours I've read others' say, in some cancer forums. 6 hours. Today the mesh marks are gone, but my forehead is still a bit welted. Bastards.

So, I dug up a photo of a patient wearing a mask, but with a pad underneath across his/her? forehead. I'm bringing it Monday to treatment. I want something across my chin as well, as that hurt.

The mask is not supposed to be comfortable, but it's not supposed to hurt.

And I will not end up locked up in the house for a month for fear of scaring small children if I go outside. Not to mention, yet another friggin' stab at de-feminization.

And the doc had said 3-4 weeks. Got the MVP paper yesterday - 22 sessions were OK'd = 4.5 weeks. I won't be done til the end of July.

People take anti-anxiety drugs to get through these sessions, that's how freaky and scary they are with that mask. I can handle the anxiety. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. So, getting *through* the sessions shouldn't be a problem. Not having them mar my face might be.

PS
I called their answering service and left a message for the rad techs, who get there at 8 am on Monday. My appt isn't until 11:15.

Told her how long the marks and welting are lasting and suggested they find some way to pad my face or I won't want to come in for treatments.

I don't care if it means they'll have to make a new mask to accommodate the padding. Tough. It's my body, dammit.