Dawn Brocco's Life and Design Blog

OK, fire in my gut - what is it with women and sharing?

Do we really NOT understand that until we value ourselves and our fellow women's abilities, talents and *marketable skills*, we do NOT lift ourselves up from being second class earners in the world??

I know the *sharing* bit is typically a female thing, but it keeps what are mostly, the female arts, like knitting, from being acknowledged as valuable, in the marketplace.

No-one will pay what goods and services are worth if they're given away for free. Pattern sharing is saying that a designer's work, her or his JOB, what she or he pays her bills with, is not worth anything.

Men aren't the only ones keeping us down, we keep *ourselves* down and then balk at how much less we earn in the world for our knowledge and abilities!

It begins with how much we value ourselves AND our fellow women. It is this simple and yet there are many of us that just don't want to get it.

Geez. You can't scan and print out yarn. You actually have to go and buy yarn to knit a design with, so it has value, and the yarn manufacturer gets paid for their work in making that yarn AND the yarn shop or discount store gets paid for selling you that yarn.

BUT God forbid you're a designer and instead of manufacturing yarn, you manufacture designs in the form of words. Words have no value? The hours of design work have no value? Not worth the few bucks it takes to buy it? Our talent and labor should be public property? From our brains to your home, gratis?

Finishing up the first stranded slipper sock sample for the Winter Gazette today, then should get its mate knit, and determine if sizing it up and down is doable. Am also finishing up the last of the booklet printing, for now.

Am just waiting on another shipment of clear covers and spines to come in, so I can get them finished.

It poured last night, so I need to go check the tomato plants which are growing well out of the bounds of their cages. I joked with hubby that these plants need solid wood, 6' tall cages, not these dinky metal jobs, the garden center calls tomato cages - very large and heavy plants are these!

The zucchini are finally piping up a bit. They weren't liking that rainy stretch we were having - they like it hot and sunny.

The asparagus are ferning over, as they do, and the lettuce I replanted is coming up between the zucchini leaves. I put them there so they wouldn't get the blast of summer's heat.

And as the blueberry bed had lettuce in it last year, the second round of naturally reseeded lettuce is up. That's what happens when I don't get the plants out before they bolt - but one can never have too much lettuce, and there's plenty of room in the blueberry bed, as there's just 3 plants and they're young.

I'm starting to get a little antsy for our house shopping trip on the Cape. It's been 10 years since our last real vacation - that's a long stretch of endless work and responsibility. Even this one won't be a vacation, it's got a purpose attached, so lolling on the beach all day isn't in the cards, but getting away to a place that we love is, at the least, up-lifting. We're hoping the place hasn't changed too much in 10 years. I'll be sure to post photos then.

Hopefully, I can get the interior work finished over the next couple of weeks, now that the large printing jobs are almost done. Have 4 rooms and ceilings to paint, and also trim in 2 of those rooms, 2 closet doors and trim to paint and 3 carpets to clean. AND I still haven't been able to find any blue and white toile curtains on sale anywhere. I haven't time to sew up the 6 windows' worth of curtains that the kitchen and nearby hall require, but at $30 per pair of angled valances, ufda. Seems the black toile is *in* and can be had on sale, but not the blue. Black toile just won't do and I don't like it, regardless. Anyone know of a source for toile curtains that won't break the bank?

It was hot yesterday and will be hot today - so I downed my morning coffee and got out there to water the tomatoes and zucchini as early as I could - not easy for me as I'm so not a morning person. Up at the crack of dawn I'll never be.

Have the last hundred Gazettes to print today and start on printing the 150 booklets I need to do.

Knitting
Began wool socks for brother John, for Christmas. He actually mended his pair last winter, but it's time for a new pair - Lamb's Pride Bulky in a navy for the cuff and foot, but I quadrupled up some coordinating grey fingering wt. sock yarn for the heel flap, turn and toes.

Am working on another slipper design for the Winter issue. This one is stranded - one of my favorite styles of knitting. My hands just love doing colorwork. I also naturally take to aran work, as well. Intarsia, OTOH, is an effort, but I'll do it if the design needs it. I may do something aran, as well.

Have to do a hat and scarf for Dad for Christmas - I promised him, as he lost the alpaca scarf I made him 2 years or so ago. As the cashmere I get to do my dyed kits with now comes in a natural black, I'll get that for his set and must design something simply elegant that doesn't look simple. I don't mind easier to do knits, but I really don't like designing *basic* knits whose 30 hours or so of knitting are enough to put one into hibernation, they're so boring to knit! For example, the alpaca boucle cable jacket I just finished for a booklet of designs I'm working on - there's interest in the cable border, then waist shaping to tend to, then working short rows for the sleeves, then cabled cuffs and front band. So, even though it's overall fabric is stockinette with cabled accents, the actual knitting keeps you from dozing off.

And I found beautiful Swarovski crystal clasps for it at my LYS, Amazing Threads. I tried Jo-Ann's first, hoping for larger gold aran-style clasps, but they had none and I knew Radley, at AT, would have beautiful and unusual closures to choose from.

I have anther design (an aran) almost finished that can use the aran-style gold clasps, and I can get them from JHB. Very celtic, very up-my-Irish-heritage-alley! Well, only 3/8th Irish heritage, but I feel its pull much more than the German, English or Native American (Mohawk) heritages I also have.

Yup, my maternal grandmother (who's still kicking - good for her!) is half Irish (her mom) and half Mohawk (her dad).

One day I'll write about my ancestors, both in the generic sense and the very real-life experiences of my family. Lessons exist in our family's pasts that shouldn't fade away with them. I know, from my own limited knowledge of my forebears, that, through time and generations, we are growing towards a state of health (mental and physical) and happiness that only comes from questioning, understanding and acceptance. This is good. I can't stand being static, not when we're capable of so much more.

There's no room for bitterness and regret in life. All paths can teach if we're willing to learn. And once we learn, we can fulfill our potential and purpose in this life. We can go *forward*. There's no more freeing a feeling that finally being able to go forward, away from old patterns, old problems, and the same old, same old ways of dealing with life that keep others, even ones we love, bound in the chains of negativity and unhappiness.

Breaking from the family, the root, the stifling enclosure of limitation, and saying not for me. This is not who I am, nor is it the way I want my life to be, eventually paves a path that others can see forward from, as well. We all must try and be the light that this world needs, not add to the darkness that we have too much of. But even if no-one sees that path, but yourself, it's far better to walk it alone that not to walk it at all.

Back to our regularly-scheduled light reading in a few days...!

Well, I have spent over 8 hours every day since Friday printing, punching, binding. But finally got the first of the big print jobs done last night - the 500 booklets for Unicorn.

Now, of course, I had to order a new maintenance kit for the Phaser, so I can print the Gazettes. I have enough on this kit to do about 150 of them, but need to do 500, well, just 393 or so, but am doing the 500 as I am hoping September brings renewals. 100 subscribers haven't renewed and that's highly unusual, but, it's still August and vacations and the the back-to-school thing take precedence. I also have to do about 50 each of 3 other booklets.

Today, I am trimming and laminating batches of Heel Help cards and need to also get some patterns done, so I have enough on hand for the autumn shop orders, especially as I'll be closed for a few days in September - have house hunting to do - and would rather be prepared for any last minute rush orders.

My youngest brother is here for 3 days helping hubby with scraping this house. He will come 3 days next week as well. It helps. This is a big house and no-one in its recent ownership, at least, has gone to the trouble of prepping the house well before painting it. We all know the prep is the main thing, and takes the most of the job's time - you just can't throw paint onto a house!

Eventually, I'll get time to do the interior painting, but not until this chunk of work is done. I haven't posted photos in awhile - have little to share, photo-wise. I have TONS of tomatoes on the 13 plants. Once they redden-up, I'll take pics. They're heirloom varieties, tho I've forgotten which 2 or so varieties are out there. It doesn't matter, they all taste wonderful, compared to store-bought. Maybe I'll get some shots of the exterior of the house, while in prep mode, then later after it's painted.

Well, off to strip the bed, put in the laundry, make some iced tea (from the bag, not a can), and wake up the printer.

I yippeed too soon, back on Monday was it? about the new print head - but the nice repair guy came this morning and replaced the head and I am printing - very big yippee! He was sweet and gave me a bunch of free ink, as he was several days late, not that I griped - as I was so happy when he called to say he was coming!

Knitting - not today it doesn't look like. I did finish the 3 slipper samples for a pattern for the winter Gazette issue. Just have last bits to tweak on the pattern. Then I really should get back to an aran I started last year. And I need to remember to order clasps today for the cabled alpaca jacket, so I can finish up that booklet.

So, not much writing I can do now, lots of printing ahead of me.

Oh yippee! New printhead is coming either tomorrow or Wednesday, then a mad rush I'll be in for a couple/few weeks, but at least it's on its way. I haven't been able to print a thing in 3 weeks, and the backlog grows daily! I so hate making anyone have to wait for things they've ordered, but this is out of my control and FAR too costly a repair for me to take care of myself. (I could buy another used Phaser 860DP for the cost of one printhead - that's how costly it is.) The ink manufacturer, though, stands behind their ink, and replaces printheads that may get clogged because of it. I've always been happy with the quality of the ink and my prints and will continue to use it.

I've been working on the patterns for the alpaca boucle booklet and have started a design for the Winter Gazette issue. Can't get any painting done with the endless rain, but we have a spot of sun today - oh boy - we sure could use a bit more sun here - can't get the house puttied, primed nor painted until it dries out and *stays* dry. August was never wet here - always hot and dry, with thunderstorms, but never an ongoing wet and cool-ish month - weird.

Well, I should get this design done - pattern written and samples knit - as I won't have a moment to breathe real soon.

Can't print yet - ugh, so I'll get patterns written, at least. I feel like a race horse, at the gate, ready to charge ahead, but the darn gate won't open. Being frustrated is useless, but with each passing day that I can't print, the remaining days of August keep getting increasingly tense with the work that *must* be done.

Too humid for the attics today, and I need to get the library floor scuffed and start its painting. But with all this rain and humidity, nothing will dry.

When we originally began work on that room, it had been a kitchen, one of several in this house, as it was divied up into apartments - how I hate when that happens to old houses. As we ripped up the tile floor and another layer beneath that, I thought about that room, being off the parlor, it might have been the original farmer's "office". It's not a big room, as all the rear rooms in the house are only about 9' or 9.5' square, with some being a bit longer, only because 2 small rooms had been opened into 1.

And it had no fireplace - there are only 2 hearths in the house, but by 1850, woodstoves were well in use, so the fireplaces weren't used as such - especially with no dampers! They used woodstoves, as I found, and hubby patched, the holes into the chimneys, as I stripped off the 8 layers of paper in each room.

Anyway, I imagined that the office floor should be brick/barn red - like the brick red I choose for the front door and the hall armoire we restored. Even though all the other floors, wide board downstairs, narrow board upstairs were unpainted, just shellaced, as old pine floors tend to be.

And guess what color the wood floor was under all those kitchen floor layers? - the same brick red I had chosen. Old houses speak to you, you just need to listen and imagine. So, I oil painted it years ago, but in the flexing of the floor, it cracked off in spots. The original red was paint of some sort, not stain, and I don't know if they had the same problem, but hubby says over coats of urethane will keep the oil painted floor in good shape. So, sanding and repainting await me, but not today - yet more rain!

Still no print head - trying to be patient.

I slip stitched the front band on last night and did the other cuff while watching Shackleton, which we borrowed from the library. I can't sit still through a 90 minute-long movie, never mind a 200 minute-long movie! My neck gets all tight from being still like that, so I need to keep busy doing something else.

One reason that going to the movies isn't the most enjoyable thing, and I know I could knit through the movie, but not when paying $7 to see the thing - the other is the volume. There's no, NO reason for these small theaters to show movies with blow-your-ear-drums-out volume. I always have to shove some cotton in my ears to block some of it, or wince through the whole thing, never mind the ensuing headache.

I've been trying to grow my hair out. Patience is needed with that as well. It's not easy. I've had boy-short hair for nearly 20 years, back when gelled, spikey hair was in. I've worn it softer for many years, but always very short. I never could stand having long hair - so much weight, that you don't know is there straining your neck *until* you cut it short and are surprised by the sudden lack of weight!

Then there's the heat. Lots of hair just seems to hold heat at the scalp instead of letting it go - torture in summer with no AC.

Then there's the it-takes-all-day-to dry bit. I have lots of fine hair and it does take forever to dry and blowing it dry every day (as it must be washed every day) is ruinous for my colored hair and the electric bill. So, I won't do it.

And I won't NOT color it! At 45, I have no wrinkles, but have tons of grey that began after the kids were born by age 22. And though I was an ash blonde as a child, after the kids, it turned mousey brown. Mousey brown and grey are NOT options and do nothing for me!

Then there's the I-can't-sleep-with-all this-hair-in-my-way thing. I remember pulling it all back off the pillow as a teen, as I couldn't, and still can't, stand the feeling of hair sliding about under my head every time I turned over, not to mention the *sound* of it! I really don't know how other women aren't tortured by their long hair, or is it one of those suffer-to-be-beautiful things (which I don't buy into). A little effort - sure, suffer - no.

Yeah, I'm irked by a lot of things! But most of the things that irk me have to do with feeling constricted, or having to fuss about my person. I like to go through each day doing what I need to, without having to be conscious about my clothes or hair. It's distracts me from what's going on in my head!

But, I'm growing it out anyway. At least to the chin. It may not get longer than that, but I've long been tired of the same old haircut. It's surprisingly pleasant to feel soft hair longer than 1-2"! Now to just keep it from looking like those bed hair and flipped-up ends looks I've been seeing. Sooo not me.

I spent the weekend working on the next Gazette issue - retaking a few of its photos, redoing some charts, and making all the changes the copy editor suggested. The issue is mostly buttoned up, except for its needing a proof copy printed to check colors and photo clarity, BUT I can't do that until the repair guy with the new print head comes.

I also worked up that cabled front band - easy knitting that didn't require my brain to be all there! Today I need to slip stitch it on, finish the edges and do the other cabled cuff. I found large brass-tone clasps, in the JHB catalog, that I think will suit it fine. I prefer pewter clasps, but not with an ecru white garment.

There was an article in today's paper about tomato blight travelling across several of our cool and wet states, NY included, so I'm gonna keep an eye on them. I almost always buy heirloom seed varieties, and haven't had a problem with any of my veggies getting any diseases, in the 9 years or so that I've had a garden. But, ya never know. I do have them off the ground, in cages, and offset from each other (not in rows), so the airflow is better around the plants. Should go extricate the pea vines from the tuteurs and weed that bed - as soon as hubby returns from errands, so I won't miss the printer guy's call.

And then, as it's a cool enough day, I should do more attic cleanout/reorganizing work. But, we'll see. It's lunchtime and I haven't gotten to the peas yet - lots of mail to tend to!

Yesterday, my migraine, hubby's lack of sleep and the dog being sick, requiring me to clean 2 rugs made for an interesting day!

Hubby plowed through the rest of the power washing, working 12 hours straight yesterday, as those lift machines are not inexpensive, so it all had to be done in a day, all with only 4 hours sleep and an upset stomach - poor guy.

I'm printing today, and probably *every* day for the rest of this month!

I'm working on the cabled front bands for the boucle jacket. I would normally knit it in, either working horizontally or attach as you go when working vertically, but I decided to do it as a separate piece and crochet slip stitch it on afterwards. It needs to go up one side, across the neck back and down the other side (yes, it looks the same RS up or upside down!), so I think it will be less stressful for knitters to just do a long piece, pin it in place and slip stitch it on. I'm an avid circular-only, knit it in and on designer, but there are times when doing a *piece* makes life easier, and I'm not adverse to that!

This was going to be the last design for a collection booklet, but I'm really not as crazy about the pullover in the collection, as I am about the other pieces. So, I'm seriously considering leaving off the pullover, and just doing the jacket as one pattern and the accessories - the hat, mittens and scarf as another pattern. I think that's best.

I think I just worked the pullover at too snug a gauge and it doesn't show the patterning as well as the other pieces. I am not, however, inclined to reknit and rewrite the pullover pattern. I feel like I've been working on this collection forever, so extending its completion isn't appealing to me right now, just to do a booklet! I have other things sitting waiting that need me to get back to them and get them *done* too.

Have been very busy taking and retaking and editing photos!

I've also spent an inordinate amount of time searching, lately, for the ideal packaging for the kits, and ideal seems to be unattainable at this time, but I did come up with a nice enough replacement idea. When I'm searching for something, it consumes me, until I've exhausted all possibilities. I don't take no as an answer - there's always gotta be a way!

Hubby resurrected our 20-year old air conditioner, which we though had finally given up, and now we have cool air in the family room and my adjoining 2 work/office rooms. That's a relief! Between the Phaser, which needs between 200 and 1000 watts, a desktop, my laptop and lighting, it gets warmmm in here, on top of the summer heat and humidity.

Got the seams on the cabled jacket done, and began one cuff last night. Would like to get both cuffs and the front edging done today, but we'll see! I have pattern proofing to do and have just got back the first batch of edits to do on the Gazette. Gotta interrupt it with errands later - 5 stops to make and none of them any too short - Sears to go over the house paint colors in their Weatherbeater Ultra line and get, oh about 20-30 cans, if they have it, then to Lowe's for crown moulding, then to Staples to check out their binding machines - mine is the simplest model and not capable of doing what I need to do - more on that later!, then to CVS for a whole slew of things, then another place, I think for something on hubby's list.

It's 95 degrees one day and in the 60's the next! I've had to close a couple windows and don a cardigan. The storm really did cool it off - unusual for August storms - they never cool it off here.

Now, as for that binding machine - I got the most wonderful news yesterday and was in shock all last night, as I never thought it would happen - Unicorn Books has been kind enough to want my 4 booklets for distribution!!

Ack! she says, as she ponders the immenseness of the work ahead of her, all to be done in the next 3.5 weeks!!!

So, if I neglect to write in as often as I have been, please DO forgive me, I'll be printing and binding gazillions of booklets all day, every day, well into every evening, as well as printing, stapling and shipping over 500 Gazette copies, *besides* taking care of regular business and home. So, when I read my Aries horoscope this morning, which said "The stars set your life on fire...", boy have they!

Got much of the rest of the cabled Alpaca Boucle jacket done last night - have cuffs and front band patterning to do yet and find appropriate closures.

Have gotten our few bedroom wallpaper seams resealed today and did the last coat of oil paint on the library radiator.

The pea vines need ripping up and extricating from the bamboo tuteurs I made for them, but not today. I'd like to get a start on the photos for the new designs I've been doing. The pea vines can wait a couple/few more days - they're not going anywhere and I'm not replanting that bed.

I did pick the first 2 of the small round zucchini yesterday, and the tomatoes are growing by leaps and bounds, but the fruit is still green. They don't ripen here until mid-August, not unless they're started in cold frames or a greenhouse, neither of which I have! There's 13 healthy plants out there, which means lots of fresh tomato soup after we've devoured enough tomato salad! Hubby loves that - slices of tomato soaked in olive oil, tons of garlic, and herbs and let sit at least overnight in the fridge to meld the flavors. Ooh, a sandwich made from fresh semolina bread, slices of these garlic and olive oil seasoned tomato and melted mozzarella. Of course getting fresh semolina bread means a trip to Kingston to Adams Fairacre Farms. but good, fresh, Italian-made mozzarella and ricotta, though - not since we lived in Staten Island, eons ago.

Oh, thank you, Universe! Just heard from the ink manufacturer and a new print head is on it's way to them, then to me. Big sigh of relief!

Has anyone seen a webiste that sells (reasonably!) approx. 11" x 11" x 8" deep vinyl zippered bags? I've seen so many sites that have the right height and width, but with max. 4" depths.

Well, August has hit.

Hubby began power washing the house yesterday - the first step in the repainting process. It'll be many more days of it, though, and includes renting one of those lifts that he can move around the house, to get the 2nd and 3rd stories washed.

I've taken down and scrubbed the vinyl shower curtain liner and bleached the ceiling in the downstairs bath. I tried doing my quarterly shredding of papers - but you could wring out the paper for the moisture it holds, so I didn't get too far.

I'm not running around the house doing anything strenuous today - too humid. So, I'm working on the boucle jacket, whilst I listen to Inspector Morse murder mysteries on the BIO channel (how I love his movies!) and continue with my pattern-collating-into-booklets. I have many photos to retake and have been cogitating on the best place to do them. We have some pine tree stumps from having recently had 8 huge pine trees taken down - they were WAY too close to the house and pine trees are shallow-rooted, so they're NOT a good option for landscaping, especially close to an antique house, whose repair, if one ever fell on it, would not be insignificant.

But they are very inexpensive and that's the only reason I can imagine the previous owners had for buying SO MANY. They're everywhere. Here's that mantra rearing its head again! - but not *maybe* in the next house, instead - *Definitely* in the next house, there will be NO pine trees, anywhere on the property!!! They are nothing but grief, and I'm a Nature-lover, a tree-hugger, if you will, so I don't feel that way about much in Nature, but I feel that way about pines. They couldn't have planted more cedars, hemlocks or mulberry?

The cedars they did plant are, once again, close to the house. There's 2 nice hemlocks, one behind the north-facing kitchen, that was overshadowed by the 5 huge pine trees in a row - were they thinking wind-break? With pines!? And there's 2 mulberry trees, or do we have 3, hmm, behind the peony beds, but one is planted too close to a lilac. No thought to the size of plants *when mature* and their individual needs for sun and water. If I had a fortune, it could easily go to redesigning and landscaping the 4 open acres of the 6 we have.

So, anyway, there's a few stumps whose view of the yard from their placement isn't bad. The pond is still green with the watermeal, so I need to avoid it for the photos, but that's hard as it's an acre-sized pond and can be seen from many angles. The house and garage aren't painted yet, so they're no good as backdrops, and I have nothing flowering. So, lawn and pine trees as a backdrop, it looks like it will be.

I've taken inside shots and it works OK when I take them upstairs in the smallest bedroom which has nice afternoon north light, but the wallpaper doesn't go with everything I need to photograph.

Back to work!